To be completely honest, I believed transitioning from being in a 10-year relationship to being single was going to be horrific. I mean, what was I going to do with all of this newfound free time? Who was I going to text all day long and share inside jokes with? Who was I going to have dinner with on Friday night and binge watch shows on Netflix with all weekend long? Who was I going to vacation and experience new adventures with?
My fucking self. And I don’t hate it one bit. I can make decisions solely based on my own schedule, my own time, my own aspirations. I could decide to go back to school and get my degree, something I’ve been kicking myself for since 2009 when I first moved to Texas. I can work overtime to move towards the promotion I want without having to worry my significant other will think it’s because I want to spend more time with a coworker rather than seeing it for what it truly is: furthering my career. I can sign up for a race every single weekend in a month’s span [April, I’m looking at you] and have no concerns about the money I spend or the time I’m away from my partner. I can go to dinner with friends on any given day of the week and have no need to check-in with someone to let them know when I think we’ll be paying our check and heading out. I can spend my entire weekend watching seasons upon seasons of favorite shows I’ve seen a billion times and order half of the Chinese food menu without being judged. I can book last minute flights to anywhere in the country to spend time with friends and family without worrying about breaking the budget. I can do whatever the hell I want and be 110% happy about it.
From day one I said I wouldn’t date again for at least a year. That deadline came and went in March – and guess what? I’m still not dating and everything isn’t falling apart. At 32, some may feel they should be married, have kids, and own a house. Those are not defining moments for everyone. I don’t feel like I’ve “failed” because I’m single, childless, and living in an apartment. I have absolutely zero desire to jump on Tinder and rush into a relationship just so I won’t be alone. When the time is right, things will fall into place and I will find someone worthy of sharing my time with. But at this junction in my life, I am perfectly content living for me and only me. And I don’t feel guilty about it one bit.