Small Things That Warrant a Big WTF

If there’s a chance your super-sensitive feathers may get ruffled, I recommend skipping this post. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Obviously I’m feeling a little feisty today and it’s compounded by the fact that Google Hangouts is down and I have no one to talk to.

Only 2 registers open during the after-work rush at Target. I thought eventually they’d come to their senses and staff a little better, but I’ve pretty much given up hope on that. There’s always that one employee pacing around with the walkie talkie directing people into lines. No, I don’t want to be behind the lady with a decently full cart and three kids using the conveyor belt as a rock climbing wall. I want to be behind guy with a bottle of wine and wheel of cheese. Not just because I approve of his shopping choices, but because that line will move MUCH faster. Hey Mr. Walkie Talkie Man – how about YOU get behind a register and ring me up?

People who don’t drive the speed limit. In the great state of Texas, many of our roads are 70 or 75mph. We even have the fastest highway in the United States at 85mph. Considering a majority of these highways are toll roads, it irritates the hell out of me when I get behind someone doing 55 or 60. If you’re interested in driving that slow, save a few bucks by taking the access roads and leave the highway clear for the rest of us. I spend almost 3 hours and $5 a day in tolls to drive 75mph. I’m Ricky Bobby: I wanna go fast.

Sub-par music recommendations. Every so often my running playlist needs updating and I poll the masses via Twitter/Facebook for suggestions. The responses are usually found in the top 10 downloads on iTunes or that damn OneRepublic song every Top 40 radio station out there is playing the crap out. The iTunes Top 200 list is my first stop when searching for new music, so recommending “Timber” or “Dark Horse” just isn’t helpful. I’m looking for (and always specify this) lesser known favorites, like a song from an album you just purchased that likely won’t ever make it to the radio. Maybe it’s just me but if these will be on a playlist for months to come, the last songs I want are the ones the radio is going to beat to death. And since we’re on the subject, what’s your current favorite song that I’ve probably never heard of?

The perpetually empty coffee carafe at the office. I want to put a hidden camera in our kitchen to catch people in the act as they go to pour themselves a cup of coffee, realize the carafe is empty and then leave the kitchen. It’s nine freaking thirty, brew another damn pot! This girl loves her caffeine and what she does NOT love is heading in for a refill only to be faced with an empty sputtering carafe. Every time my palm presses down on that top lever I feel like I’m playing Clue Boom on Hollywood Game Night.

People who insist on entering the elevator before others exit. When did this become okay? No, I do not want you plowing into me while I’m juggling my coffee and laptop. The elevator isn’t going to leave without you, so I really don’t understand what the rush is. Step aside, bitches!

Boycotting all airlines because MH370 is missing. Don’t get me wrong, this is a tragic (and truly bizarre – where the hell is that damn plane?) event and my thoughts are with the families of those 239 individuals onboard. I cannot even begin to imagine what they’re going through. But do you know how many international flights have taken off and landed since March 7th? Hundreds. Thousands even. Saying you’re not getting on a flight because of this isolated incident is ridiculous. You should probably also avoid roller coasters, cruise ships, bicycles, trains (I mean, have you seen either of these Denzel movies?) and never get behind the wheel of a car again. You will probably need to live in a bubble for the rest of your life.

The WP plugin that tweets out links to archived posts. I get the idea: you’re looking to increase site traffic and get new eyes on older posts. But when your Weekly Workout Recap from October 2011 or a giveaway marked ‘CLOSED’ pops up in my Twitter feed, it’s confusing. And to be honest, kind of annoying. Buffer is a much better tool and you have 100% control over the content shared, as well as when it’s being shared.

Your turn: what’s making you say WTF on this fine Monday?

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5 Comments

  1. I love your blog…makes me miss your little face more!

  2. Definitely some funny stuff …

    A couple of years ago I did a pictorial of empty coffee pots, showing examples of what WAS empty, or empty enough to warrant brewing more – and also a step by step with timing showing it was <1 minute to do!

    I think that same WP plugin sends stuff to Facebook … hate it, and it makes me ignore some people whose blogs I used to read. They publish a post a week, but FB pings me at least once a day to read a 'new post'. Um, no.

    As for the highway … when I was traveling to Kentucky last year there was a stretch that was 75, and being from NY (and Mass the rest of my life) I am used to 65 limits and i am not the fastest driver so I set my cruise control. Still felt fast, but seriously …
    Michael Anderson recently posted…Motivation Monday – Break Through the Winter ‘Blahs’, Also My ‘Monday Mixtape’My Profile

    • <1 minute = EXACTLY!! Such a quick task, it's amazing how often it simply doesn't get done. I've encountered more empty coffee pots than full ones and obviously that does not make me happy.

      I love most WP plugins, but this one drives me crazy. I wish there was a way to tailor which posts it chooses from (ie. removing a specific category). It doesn't seem natural to me, which I think might be my biggest issue with it.

  3. OMG I HATE that plugin!!! I get super annoyed by all of that. Anyway, there’s this weird thing that people in SF do on Bart that drives me CRAZY. You know how most public transit systems people stand to the side so when the doors open, passengers can get off and then people get on the train? Well, apparently that is NOT how they board trains here. Everyone forms a line in front of each door and just tries to plow their way onto a train before anyone gets off. To say the system is strange, bizarre, and dumb is an understatement. Only made worse by the fact that half of the people in the line in front of you probably don’t want that train, anyway, so you have to go around to get on your train, making the cluster even worse.

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